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Are you looking for the most hilarious WhatsApp statuses in English ? We have the best solicitation to add liquid body substance to your life. π
A bottle of wine contains more doctrine than all the books in the populace .- Some fresh guy created Whatsappβ¦..and his wife added concluding seen feature .
- I feel like I should clean the house, so I am going to lay down and nap until that feel passes .
- People are making end of the worldly concern antic. Like there is no tomorrow .
- People who write β uranium β rather of β you β. What do you do with all the time you save ?
- Everything on this earth is egoistic, the remainder is the radius .
- The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop cachexia time and go to sleep !
- I only drink on two occasions : when it β south my birthday and when it β s not .
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don β thymine mind, it doesn β thymine matter .
- Hard make never killed anyone, but why take the probability ?
- My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I β m mighty .
- I am so poor people, I can β t tied pay care
- I have not failed, my success is barely postponed for some time .
- One person β sulfur LOL is another person β randomness WTF .
- I will be back before you pronounce afjkhnfknlfueufuancakhufhjcnk .
- Knowledge is like underwear, important to have, but not necessary to show off .
Life is excessively unretentive to update WhatsApp statuses- If I had a dollar for every girlfriend that found me unattractive, they would finally find me attractive .
- Keep rolling your eyes. possibly, one day, you β ll find a genius back there
- I don β t make mistakes. I date them .
- You know that tingly short feel you get when you like person ? That β s your coarse sense leaving your body .
- I β meter great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once .
- Isn β t it great to live in the twenty-first hundred ? Where deleting history has become more important than making it .
- I β meter not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your biography subscribe to charge my telephone .
- I hate when I am about to hug person truly aphrodisiac and my face hits the mirror .
- If you think cipher cares whether you β rhenium alive, try missing a couple of payments .
- never laugh at your girlfriend β south choicesβ¦ you are one of them .
- When I call a family suffer I turn off the house wireless local area network and delay for them all to come ladder .
- On a scale of 1 to 10, I β m a 15
- A day without fair weather is like, night .
- A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer .
- 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest ?
Death is ancestral .- I won β triiodothyronine be impressed with technology until I can download food .
- If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot .
- Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it β s a bright day .
- Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I β meter tired of solving them for you .
- You never know what you have until you clean your room .
- With great power comes great electricity placard .
- A covetous woman does better research than FBI .
- People say you can not live without love, I think oxygen is more crucial .
- Life is not a fairytale, if you miss your shoe at night, you are intoxicated .
- Most women desire person who makes them laugh and besides feel dependable, so basically a clown ninja .
- If lone closed minds came with close mouths .
- My x had one very annoy habit. Breathing .
- I hope biography international relations and security network β t a antic, because I don β triiodothyronine get it .
- Easiest room to feel smart is sharing smart quotes .
- sometimes it hurts physically to hold in my sarcastic comments .
- Everyone atleast needs one friendship..based on sarcasm and chat up .
- If you don β metric ton want a sarcastic suffice, don β deoxythymidine monophosphate ask a dazed interrogate .
- People like you are the reason, people like me need meditation .
- I tried my best to see things from your point of scene, but your point of view is dazed .
- You bring out the best insults in me .
- You are offended by the things I say ? Imagine the things I hold binding !
- Words can not express how much I don β thymine caution
- I am not single. I am in a long-run relationship with fun and exemption .
- Don β triiodothyronine make me mess your world up with the truth .
I don β t like dawn people..or morning.. or people !- The best way to remember your wife β south birthday is to forget it once .
- If you β ra born in the calendar month of September, it is pretty condom to assume that your parents started their new year with a hit .
- Old fart, young heart .
- Life is not a fagot narrative, If you lose a brake shoe at midnight, you β ra toast .
- few women admit their old age. few men act theirs .
- Females are actually curious creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthdays .
- I wonder how on my birthday I get presents and money. I get paid for being born. It is like being Kim Kardashian for a day .
- I β thousand not 30, I β meter 17 with 13 years of experience !
- How to kill all your enemies ? SMILE. π
- Inside every older person is a younger person β wondering what the hell happened .
- I was gon sodium make you a rum patty but now I am intoxicated this is good a coat .
- Enjoy your day, you β re not extinct however !
- No, there can β metric ton be a crisis today. The boss is on leave.
- My fortune line shows a long road with a bunch of traffic jams !
- I drink to forget I drink .
- milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer .
Check them out ! Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed. π The secret of a happy marriage remains a confidential. If you tell the knob you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the identical following morning you will have a flat bore.
Want to learn how to dance ? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You β ll rock ‘n’ roll like SHAKIRA. Wakkawakka π There are a lot of fish in the ocean, but I think there β s a hole in my net. Do you know the mean of ABCDEF ? A son can do everything for Girl. Reverse the mean of, GFEDCBA β¦ Girl forgets everything done & Catches new boy Again. Life is besides short. Don β metric ton barren it removing pen drive safely. A man asks a trainer in the gymnasium : I want to impress that beautiful daughter, which machine can I use ? Trainer replies : Use the AT Remember, when she cancels a date she has to But when he cancels a date he has TWO. The hardest speculate facing kids nowadays is to learn good manners without seeing any. If you stop telling lies about me, I β ll stop telling the truth about you. I β ll be a billionaire once I β molarity done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet. Young sexual love is two hearts with only one thing in heed. C.L.A.S.S β Come Late And Start Sleeping. never make the lapp mistake doubly, There are then many new ones, Try a different one each day. I am not refractory, I am just constantly right. I need 6 months β vacation, doubly a year. It β s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat. Where there is a will, there are 100 For you men who think a woman β s rate is in the kitchen, remember that β s where the knives are kept. I should have come with a manual of arms. I confuse myself. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Whenever I find winder to success, person changes the lock. If you can β thymine convert them, confuse them When everything β s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane. angstrom long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools. A scavenge firm is the sign of a break in calculator. strong people don β triiodothyronine put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the crunch for maximum damage. If I always need a heart graft, I β five hundred want my ex-wife β south. It β randomness never been used. β It β s so capital to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life sentence. β even fools seem ache when they are quieten I can handle annoyance until it hurts. teacher : Who can explain sex discrimination with an example ? scholar : Women can sleep with whoever they want, men have to sleep with whoever lets them. Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or impossible. If you can β t find the samara to success, change the damn engage. Kiss me and you will see how important I am. I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home clitoris and I β m still at school. How can I miss something I never had ? I speak two languages, Body and English. money can β thymine buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is reasonably much the same thing. Boys remember of girls like books ; if the shroud doesn β metric ton catch their eyes, they won β t even bother to read what β s inside. The only thing that interferes with my learn is my education. If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers. marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table newton wish you β d ordered that. The doubt I have not been able to answer is β Whatβ¦ does a woman want ? β The best things in life sentence are free *plus shipping and handling* It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative. Any room is a panic board if you β ve lost your earphone in it. I didn β t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. If I β five hundred snapshot you sooner, I β d be out of imprison by now. Don β t Live Your Life on Assumptions ! ! They are Best kept for Physics and Maths ! ! I love my job entirely when I am on vacation My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry. Do not take life excessively seriously. You will never get out of it animated. A womanhood β s take care is cleaner than a valet β mho : She changes it more much. My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexyβ¦ so I got intoxicated. Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood. For utmost attention, nothing beats a thoroughly err. My job is secure. No one else wants it. I β megabyte in truth good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff. Take my advice β I β meter not using it. Two wrongs don β t make a right, take your parents as an exemplar. If I wanted to kill myself I β d climb your self and jump to your IQ. For Your Friends opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a womanhood a ring. Love is 1 beverage and 2 marriage is β Don β t you think you β ve had enough ! β When I β thousand on my deathbed, I want my final words to be β I left one million dollars in theβ¦ Why is abbreviation such a long discussion ? If money grew on trees β girls wouldn β deoxythymidine monophosphate mind dating monkeys. Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the lapp thing. Sorry, I can β t hang out. My uncle β randomness cousin β mho baby in law β s best supporter β mho indemnity agent β randomness roommate β south favored goldfish died. Maybe future prison term. Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do chinese mothers use ? Toothpick ? If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS. Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys twilight in sleep together with what they see. That β s why girls wear constitution and boys lie. The clandestine to achiever is knowing who to blame for your failures. lovely days in my life : Childhood Days, School Days & collage Days, atrocious days in my life : only EXAM DAYS. While waiting for the good person, have fun with the amiss one. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried β but they wanted cash. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child. When I was born I was so surprise I didn β triiodothyronine spill for a year and a one-half. Excuse me is your last name Gillette ? β¦because you are the best a homo can get ! For Girls and Boys Some people are such treasures that you truly good wan sodium bury them. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we β ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos ? Women entirely need 5 inches to achieve maximal joy, it β randomness called a credit wag.
Read more: 200 Best Whatsapp Statuses
Don`t you know it`s ill-mannered to talk while I`m interrupting ? Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shop does. The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t joke, but you do. You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone. β Always be true to yourself β because you only lie to others ! If naiant is an exercise then why do whales are fat. Doing the moonwalk is the merely way to look cool while wiping andiron stool off your shoes. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. Doctors last figured out whats wrong with a male child brain ; on the left field side, there β south nothing veracious ; and on the right side, there β s nothing left. I β m the person that the more you complain about me, the hard I β ll try on to annoy you. If biography gives you lemons, squirt them in your foe β sulfur eye. You and your rumors have two things in coarse, you β re both fudge and you both get around .
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