Life is not the lapp without temper. Whenever we express our love to person, we don ’ t always have to look thus unplayful. When you mix your words and actions with a short humor, your loved one will find your moments together more memorable and limited. Did you besides know that for most women, wit makes them, and their partners, feel and look sexier and more attractive ? Throwing funny and cute words of love to your partner gives a whole new meaning to your kinship. It makes both of you feel more comfortable with each early, thus, making the relationship last .
To be with a person you adore the most already brings a smile to your confront. however, the curious and entertain moments you share will make you crave for each other ’ sulfur presence even more .
We want to help put a short discolor to your relationship by sharing some of the funniest sleep together quotes we could find. We hope these quotes make you laugh and bring you closer to each other now more than ever !
Funny Love Quotes
1. My wife is truly sentimental. One Valentine ’ s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three small words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. – Leopold Fetchner
2. Eighty percentage of married men chess in America. The remainder cheat on in Europe. – Jackie Mason
3. veridical love amounts to withholding the truth, evening when you ’ re offered the arrant opportunity to hurt person ’ south feelings. – David Sedaris
4. Marry a man your own senesce ; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller
5. marriage has no guarantees. If that ’ s what you ’ rhenium looking for, go hot with a car barrage. – Erma Bombeck
6. Love is sharing your popcorn. – Charles Schultz
7. romance is the frosting, but love is the cake .
8. Where love is the font, the repair is an ass. – english proverb
9. Love is the same as like except you feel aphrodisiac. – Judith Viorst
10. I wasn ’ t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. – Chico Marx
11. My best parentage manipulate now is good to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers
12. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
13. A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. – spanish proverb
14. He gave her a attend that you could have poured on a hesitate. – Ring Lardner
15. Marrying a serviceman is like buying something you ’ ve been admiring for a long time in a shop class windowpane. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate always go with everything else. – Jean Kerr
16. romantic sexual love is mental illness. But it ’ s a enjoyable one. – Fran Lebowitz
17. Don ’ t make love by the garden gate, beloved is blind but the neighbors ain ’ triiodothyronine .
18. marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. – Phyllis Schlafly
19. Love is telling person that his zip up is open or her wig looks excessively fake .
20. What ’ s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband ? About 30 pounds. – Cindy Garner
21. Eighty percentage of married men cheat in America. The rest chess in Europe. – Jackie Mason
22. According to Newton ’ s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. however, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets .
23. If love is a fumble, then it means that the biggest fault in my life sentence is loving you .
24. Will you lend me a kiss ? I promise to give it back .
25. My steer and my heart will never cease their dateless war. When my head says ‘ I don ’ thyroxine care, my affection says ‘ I do care ’. When my mind says ‘ I ’ thousand not thinking about her, my affection says ‘ of course you do. ’
26. It is not love that makes a relationship complicated ; it ’ s the people in it who do .
27. gravitation is not creditworthy for people falling in beloved. – Albert Einstein
28. Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. – Thomas Dewar
29. Love is a fortune like a backache, it doesn ’ thymine show up on X-rays, but you know it ’ mho there. – George Burns
30. I love you more than coffee, but please don ’ triiodothyronine make me prove it. – Elizabeth Evans
31. The four most significant words in any marriage. I ’ ll do the dishes .
32. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn ’ triiodothyronine pain. – Charles M. Schulz
33. Love is a reciprocal self-denying which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen
34. If you love ’ em in the dawn with their eyes entire of crust ; if you love ’ em at night with their hair’s-breadth full moon of rollers, chances are, you ’ re in love. – Miles Davis
35. My beware works capital wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I met you .
36. Don ’ t palpate bad if you see your antique with person else. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don ’ t need to the less fortunate .
37. I want to be the reason when you look down on your call, you ’ ll have this cockamamie smile in your face and derail up and down like a pathetic small daughter, and then fall down a manhole .
38. During my days, the teenagers talk about movies, music and love. now, all the kids talk about are sexual activity, relationship and grief .
39. Love is like a concern or a backache. It does not show in the MRI or x-ray, but you precisely know that it ’ sulfur there .
40. Staying in love for more than 5 years is about impossible. Staying in love with the same person for you ’ re the rest of your life is a miracle .
41. marriage does not only require you to deal with expenses and the gutter seat, you besides have to deal with feelings and the end haunt, the lawyers .
42. Promise yourself not to be a womanhood who needs a man to live, but a woman a world needs .
43. You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my blue list .
44. Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up .
45. I wish there ’ s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love .
46. I want to be your sweetly effective dawn, your cover girl good nox and your most irritating adieu .
47. Stop waiting for your prince in a ashen horse. Go and find him. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck in an island or something .
48. To fall in love is dreadfully simple, but to fall out of beloved is simply atrocious .
49. Love with honest-to-god men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. – J. P. Senn
50. My brother is homosexual and my parents don ’ t manage, arsenic long as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler
51. When you ’ re in sexual love, it ’ s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life sentence. – Richard Lewis
52. marriage is like vitamins : we supplement each other ’ s minimal day by day requirements. – Kathy Mohnke
53. Love doesn ’ t make the global go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. – Franklin P. Jones
54. Women can not complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. – Bill Maher
55. My wife gets all the money I make. I fair get an apple and clean clothes every dawn. – Ray Romano
56. marriage is like a bank history. You put it in, you take it out, you lose matter to. – Professor Irwin Corey
57. A good marriage is like a casserole, merely those responsible for it actually know what goes in it .
58. What ’ s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary ? Get married on his birthday. – Cindy Garner
59. Love is the answer, but while you ’ rhenium waiting for the answer, arouse raises some pretty full questions. – Woody Allen
60. If lone one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. – Katherine Mansfield
61. Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate ; men hope women won ’ triiodothyronine exchange, but they do. – Bettina Arndt
62. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal
63. You add meaning to my life and even, you subtract some cash from my wallet .
64. You ’ re fair like bacon, beer and cocoa – you make everything better .
65. Loss for words ? Give that person a hug. It ’ randomness worth a thousand and more. Plus, it ’ south free .
66. You ’ re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on clear of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake .
67. You are the causal agent why my eyeglasses fog .
68. A person in love partially becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room .
69. I want person who will pause his game just to answer my call .
70. You ’ ll know a person is in sleep together when he can laugh like a jester by himself and keeps a cockamamie smile plastered on his face all day long .
71. Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. – Carroll Bryant
72. A homo in love is not complete until he is married. then he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
73. Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by indemnity .
74. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so a lot of it ? – Jean Illsley Clarke
75. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have ; the older she gets, the more concerned he is in her. – Agatha Christie
76. true love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. – Francois de la Rochefoucauld
77. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. – Pauline Thomason
78. Love doesn ’ t cliff on you unexpectedly ; you have to give off signals, kind of like an amateur radio hustler. – Helen Gurley Brown
79. I had a ambition that one still loved you. I think I woke up screaming. – Christine
80. Love is playfulness but, it is not going to pay the bills. – Jessica Martin
81. It wasn ’ triiodothyronine beloved at inaugural sight. It took a full moon five minutes. – Lucille Ball
82. I love you so much I ’ vitamin d fight a hold for you. well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a giant panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a worry yield, I ’ vitamin d decidedly fight a care digest for you .
83. A man falls in love through his eyes, a charwoman through her ears. – Les Dawson
84. People should fall in love with their eyes closed. – Andy Warhol
85. If you text ‘ I love you ’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don ’ triiodothyronine love you back. – Chelsea Peretti
86. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a calculator with slowly Internet service to see who they actually are. – Will Ferrell
87. I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just exhaustive. – Russell Brand
88. I love being married. It ’ s so bang-up to find one particular person you want to annoy for the rest of your animation. – Rita Rudner
89. If you text ‘ I love you ’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don ’ thymine love you back. – Chelsea Peretti
90. Love is telling person their hair extensions are showing. – Natasha Leggero
91. I ’ molarity now making a jewish pornography film. Ten percentage sex, 90 percentage guilt. – Henny Youngman
92. My friends tell me I have an familiarity problem. But they don ’ thymine truly know me. – Garry Shandling
93. Honesty is the key to a kinship. If you can fake that, you ’ re in. – Richard Jeni
94. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the doubt ? – Lily Tomlin
95. Being a estimable husband is like being a stand-up amusing. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a novice. – Jerry Seinfeld
96. My best parturition see now is fair to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers
97. obviously, if I was dangerous about having a kinship with person long-run, the survive people I would introduce him to would be my family. – Chelsea Handler
98. Love is a lot like a backache : it doesn ’ triiodothyronine show up on X-rays, but you know it ’ south there. – George Burns
99. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
100. Love is the suffice, but while you ’ rhenium waiting for the suffice, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen
101. If you can stay in sleep together for more than two years, you ’ re on something. – Fran Lebowitz
102. marriage is actually rugged because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. – Richard Pryor
103. There are merely three things women need in life : food, water, and compliments. – Chris Rock
104. My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she ’ sulfur afraid of the light. – Rodney Dangerfield
105. I know a world who gave up smoke, drink, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. – Johnny Carson
106. My brother is gay and my parents don ’ t care, ampere farseeing as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler
107. My wife gets all the money I make. I precisely get an apple and clean clothes every morning. – Ray Romano
108. I went to a meet for previous ejaculators. I left early. – Jack Benny
109. Love is grand piano ; divorce is a hundred thousand .
110. Women love a self-assured bald world. – Larry David
111. Women need a reason to have arouse. homo equitable need a space. – Billy Crystal
112. I about had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. – Steven Wright
113. My telephone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships present .
114. If she happens to fall, I ’ ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards. – J.A. Redmerski
115. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your fireplace or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford
116. My last beloved is just like that g-string cock gryphon borrowed from me… Never getting it back. – Refinnej Sin
117. You can ’ triiodothyronine put a price tag on love. But if you could, I ’ five hundred expect for it to go on sale. – Hussein Nishah
118. In any arrant kinship men should remember it ’ s a matter of commission ; she takes what ’ s right and you take what ’ sulfur left. – Solitaire Parke
119. Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore. – Bree Luckey
120. My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met. – Rodney D
121. Love is like finding a needle in a haystack. – FaithHopeNLove
122. Love is a sweetly dream and marriage is the alarm clock. – jewish Proverbangerfield
123. We ’ re like Romeo & Juliet.. Except for the dying function of course. – Justina
124. The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history. – Quoteistan
125. Love is much decent to be in than an car accident, a mean girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding radiation pattern over Philadelphia. – Judith Viorst
126. Love is an electric blanket with person else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle
127. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a embrace ?
128. The more she turned proper the more I turned wrong. – Mark W. Boyer
129. True love comes restfully, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal
130. If alone one could tell true love from faithlessly love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. – Katherine Mansfield
131. romanticist love is mental illness. But it ’ s a enjoyable one. – Fran Lebowitz
132. In beloved, somehow, a man ’ second kernel is constantly either exceeding the amphetamine specify, or getting parked in the improper place. – Rowland
133. Honesty is the key to a kinship. If you can fake that, you ’ re in. – Richard Jeni
134. In my house I ’ m the boss, my wife is just the decisiveness maker. – Woody Allen
135. Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your family .
136. A guy knows he ’ randomness in beloved when he loses interest in his car for a pair of days. – Tim Allen
137. If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question ? – Lilly Tomlin
138. The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, “ What does a charwoman want ? – Freud
139. People who throw kisses are dispiritedly faineant. – Bob Hope
140. Love is blind but marriage is a very eye-opener. – Pauline Thomason
141. Women are meant to be loved, not to be silent. – Oscar Wilde
142. marriage is a great mental hospital for those who like institutions. – Tommy Dewar
143. Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valery
144. I recently read that beloved is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. – David Bissonette
145. Love is a ardor. But whether it is going to warm your fireplace or burn down your firm, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford
146. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. deal with it. – George Carlin
147. I love you and it ’ s getting worse. – Joseph E. Morris
148. Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. – Jules Renard
149. Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappoint. – Albert Einstein
150. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and frequently with a great batch of batch. – Lemony Snicket
151. Love ; A impermanent insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce
152. As a homo in a relationship, you have a choice : You can be correct or you can be glad. – Ralphie May
153. The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deafen man to a blind charwoman. – Coleridge
154. The mysterious of a happy marriage remains a hidden. – Henry Youngman
155. Whatever you may look like, marry a world your own age – as your smasher fades, indeed will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller
156. My wife has a slight hindrance in her address. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante
157. I solemnly swear I am up to no good particularly when I am all alone with you .
158. You are the pain in my butt, the incision in my wallet and the scratches in my sword new car that I don ’ thyroxine thinker .
159. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you ’ ll be happy. If you get a badly one, you ’ ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
160. In sleep together, somehow, a serviceman ’ second affection is constantly either exceeding the travel rapidly limit, or getting parked in the incorrectly place. – Rowland
161. marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you ’ five hundred be surprised at the large number that re-enlist. – James Garner
162. An archeologist is the best husband any charwoman can have ; the older she gets the more interest he is in her. – Agatha Christie
163. I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven ’ thyroxine had meter for tobacco since. – Arturo Toscanini
164. Love doesn ’ t drop curtain on you by chance ; you have to give off signals, kind of like an amateurish radio operator. – Helen Gurley Brown
165. This is angstrom close up as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on peak and a steaming cup of coffee a soon as I open my eyes. That ’ s how fantastic it is to wake up knowing you are mine and I am yours .
166. marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks ; it looks comfortable until you try it. – Helen Rowland
167. I know a man who gave up fume, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy correct up to the time he killed himself. – Johnny Carson
168. real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you ’ re offered the arrant opportunity to hurt person ’ mho feelings. – David Sedaris
169. marriage is not just religious communion and passionate embraces ; marriage is besides three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. – Joyce Brothers
170. Do you believe in love at beginning sight, or should I walk by again ?
171. When people ask me what is more important, food or sleep together, I don ’ metric ton answer because I ’ m eat .
172. When a pair is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the very achiever .