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Funny Facebook Status : This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there. Whenever you need some amusing Facebook condition lines to make funny story Facebook posts or fishy status updates these curious Facebook quotes will help you the most. besides, you can use these fishy Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and fishy Caption for Facebook. here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new curious condition that you will love to post on your Facebook profile .

Funny Facebook Status

I ’ five hundred rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook .
Facebook is asking, ‘ What ’ s on your heed ? ’ but I think ‘ Who ’ s on your mind ? ’ is a better question.

Facebook is like the prison, you write on walls and get poked by people you don ’ thymine know .
Status for Funny Facebook Posts
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it .
I hate it when my consistency decides to get ill. I gave you a vegetable death workweek, how dare you .
If you ’ re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator ?
I ultimately realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that ’ s why it ’ mho called a “ cell ” earphone .
A across-the-board smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth .
Children in the back seat campaign accidents, accidents in the back seat causal agent children !
First rule of Sundays : If you can ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate range it from your frame, you don ’ t need it .
I turned my earphone on airplane modality and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever .
A cookie a day keeps the gloominess aside. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back .
Nerd chat up : I wish I could select all of your clothes and weight-lift erase .
I want to make my name on Facebook ‘ Nobody ’. So when I see person post something unintelligent I can like it, and it will say ‘ Nobody Likes This ’ .
In modern politics, even the drawing card of the exempt universe needs help from the sultan of Facebookistan .
Delete me, Poke me, Like me, Limit me … The choice is yours … Welcome to Facebook, where no one is actually your friend .
never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who ’ s been individual for more than 6 months .
I ’ thousand wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a partially of the everyday routine ? … Do I actually have nothing better to do !
I ’ thousand going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stop erections. The motto will be : “ Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls !
Adding you as my supporter doesn ’ t average I like you, I did it equitable to increase my ally number .
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If you send me a friend request on Facebook and your profile video is a cable car, I will assume you ’ re a transformer .
I know what you ’ re doing right now… You ’ rhenium reading on my wall, right !
Facebook is kind of like a prison. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don ’ triiodothyronine know .

Status for Funny Facebook Posts

I ’ d very post your name here every minute if Facebook keeps on asking me what ’ sulfur on my mind .
I ’ thousand going to open a new Facebook explanation named ‘ Anonymous ’ so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me !
Come over to the dark side…we ’ ve got candy .
Don ’ thyroxine worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the rudiment .
I asked God for a bicycle, but I know God doesn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate study that direction. So I stole a bicycle and asked for forgiveness .
funny facebook status lines
alcohol ! Because no great narrative started with person eating a salad .
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The example is, never try .
They say every patch of cocoa you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes. I did the mathematics. Seems I died in 1543 .
need something cool to say because you merely slipped and fell ? “ Yep, gravity placid works ! ”
If you ever get an electronic mail about pork, ham, strategic arms limitation talks, and preservatives, don ’ triiodothyronine open it. It ’ randomness spam .
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven ’ thymine pooped it out yet. I ’ m truly scared, you guys .
Save a boyfriend for a showery day – and another, in case it doesn ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate rain .
Quitting Facebook is the new adult version of running away from home. We all know you ’ rhenium doing it for care and we all know that you ’ ll be back !
If your relationship status says, “ It ’ sulfur complicated ” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “ Single ” .
I love being married. It ’ s so big to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life .
I might equally well call you Google because you have everything that I am looking for .
If my biography was an action movie, my bos would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook .
This andiron, is dog, a chase, good frump, room frump, to dog, keep pawl, an frump, idiot dog, busy dog, for frump, 30 andiron, seconds frank ! … now read without the son andiron .
May You Need : Funny Jokes for Facebook Post
The entirely reason why 30 guys liked your movie is that they can see correct down your shirt .
People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane until we invented smartphones and social media .
Oh, you ’ re popular on Facebook ? That ’ s cool. I mean, these days it ’ south easy to have 1,500 friends that you ’ ve never met before .

Funny Facebook Status for Selfies

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth .
According to my mirror I am pregnant. The don is Nutella .
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button .
My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not .
Honesty is the cardinal to a kinship. If you can fake that, you ’ re in .
Funny Facebook Quotes
My relationship is like an iPad. I don ’ thyroxine have an iPad .
Don ’ triiodothyronine tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the daydream .
I don ’ t need a hairdresser, my pillow gives me a new hairdo every good morning .
If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes .
maine and my bed are arrant for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up .
I ’ m not shy, I ’ m holding back my awesomeness so I don ’ thyroxine intimidate you.

I don ’ t have a girlfriend. But I do know a charwoman who ’ vitamin d be mad at me for saying that .
That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to “ Single ” and your ex-wife likes it .
I won ’ thyroxine parry you or delete you. I ’ meter keeping you there then you will be able to see how felicitous I am without you .
I say, anyone can catch your eye but it takes person special like me to catch your heart .
I ’ ve officially been diagnosed with OFCD ( Obsessive Facebook Checking Disorder ). I have besides been told that I am beyond cure. Please beg for me .
An apple a day keeps anyone off if you throw it unvoiced enough .
I always take animation with a grain of salt …plus a slit of lemon …and a changeable of tequila .
I made my Facebook list “ Benefits, ” therefore when you add me now it says “ you ’ re friends with benefits. ”
I don ’ t have the prettiest confront for you to see or the skinniest shank for you to hold. But I do have the biggest heart to love you with .
Read More : Facebook Selfie Captions
Accept who you are. Unless you ’ re a serial cause of death .
The kids next door challenged me to a urine balloon fight. I ’ m barely updating my status while waiting for the water to seethe .
The more you weight the arduous you are to kidnap. Stay dependable, eat patty .

Funny Facebook Status for Profile Pictures

You don ’ t have to like me, I ’ megabyte not a Facebook status .
Roses are loss, Facebook is blue, No reciprocal friends, Who the hell are you ?
Travel the earth until your Facebook ’ s check-ins finished !
I get enough exercise pushing my luck .
It ’ second okay if you don ’ metric ton like me. not everyone has good taste .
funny facebook profile status
I ’ molarity jealous of my parents, I ’ ll never have a child a cool as them .
Alcohol doesn ’ t solve any trouble, but neither does milk .
Everyone has a photographic memory ; some just preceptor ’ metric ton have the film .
If you can ’ t see the brilliantly english of life, polish the dull side .
I was s*exually harassed at ferment by my boss. But I don ’ t in truth mind. I ’ molarity freelance .
sometimes I drink water system – fair to surprise my liver .
9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I ’ megabyte crazy. The tenth is humming .
If I ’ m not back in five minutes, fair expect longer…
The Poke option is all right, but when is Facebook going to come out with a punch option ?
If I don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate logarithm into Facebook two days in a row, call the patrol, person must ’ ve kidnapped me !
I ’ ve gone out to find myself. If I should arrive before I get back, please ask me to wait .
Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook .
Got a problem with me ? Solve it. Think I ’ megabyte trip ? Tie my shoes. Can ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate stand me ? Sit back down. Can ’ t boldness me ? Turn around .
Your intelligence is my common sense .
I ’ meter regretful that I ’ thousand not updating my Facebook status, my cat-o’-nine-tails ate my mouse .
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Stop advertise your relationship on Facebook. not everyone wants to see you felicitous .
Kiss me and you will see how crucial I am .
long meter ago I used to have a life until person told me to create a Facebook explanation .

Funny Facebook Quotes

Facebook should have a “ No One Cares ” push button .
Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone ’ south toilet looks like !
Facebook is where hypocrisy, faithlessness, bivalent standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee .
You ’ re bear free, then you ’ re taxed to death .
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart .
Funny Facebook Status for Selfies
If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level .
light travels faster than voice. This is why some people appear bright until they speak .
a long as cocoa beans grow on trees, cocoa is fruit to me .
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience .
When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark .
My neighbors were yelling so forte at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room .
Of naturally I have a endowment. I ’ meter truly full in sleep together. sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go .
If you had to decide between a diet and a nibble of cocoa, would you prefer darkness, whiten or milk cocoa ?
I think I ’ molarity gon na take a hot shower. It ’ s like a normal shower but with me in it .
My ex-girlfriend ’ mho status said self-destructive and standing on the edge. So I poked her .
The best direction to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 % of their frost cream .
Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is impregnable adequate to live and enjoy life without depending on others .
Some people need to realize that Facebook is a social network, not a diary .
need More : naughty Status For Facebook
Weather calculate for tonight : benighted with a prospect of tomorrow in the dawn.

sometimes I wish animation was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go rear and delete everything you have said and done !
What can you do to promote world peace ? Go home and love your family .
It’s time to be famous around your Facebook community as well give a reason to your friends and followers to have a good laugh by posting a hilarious facebook status. All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. You can use them as funny DP caption, funny text, hilarious Facebook posts even as funny Facebook comments or Facebook story. Enjoy!